‘Tis the season when it would be all too easy to throw myself into activities and make myself busy but I’m going to choose to rest and Reconnect instead, to allow myself to feel what’s happened recently and take time to appreciate those things proved to be changed in the end.
I’d always struggled to understand my dad. He seemed to be a bit distant. Utterly devoted to my mom, choices were made that had devastating impacts. Long before I left home to travel the world, GOD was invited into our home and made welcome in the family. He was clearly getting to work and I can see now that He had both sleeves rolled up!
“I see Him, but not right now; I perceive Him, but not right here.” Numbers 24:17a MSG
I’d been ask to leave as an older teen and was full of rage and hurt, barely functioning in survival mode, unable to either dream or cope. All that mess seems like a lifetime ago, so far removed from the living hope my dad and I both came to own…something for which I am eternally grateful for…
…and all of which is nothing short of the grace of GOD! Today I’m able to see the influence my father’s faith had on me and to hear him speak of it…my mother influenced him. The Good News became The Most Important Thing got carried on.
“A star (Star) shall come forth out of Jacob, a scepter (Scepter) shall rise out of Israel and shall crush all the corners of Moab and break down all the sons of Sheth [Moab’s sons of tumult].” Numbers 24:17b AMPC
Thank You, LORD, for the gift of my Dad and for using him to teach me basic life skills and Godly principals. May I remember this couple of lessons he shared with me: (1) There’s more than one way to skin a cat and (2) A diagram drawn of a small black square sitting off-centered on white paper. He used it as a visual aid to prompt me to focus on all that was right (i.e. the white) versus obsessing over the one thing that was wrong (the off-centered black). It takes a lot of patience when you’re a parent for it was to be a number of decades before that last lesson took!
LORD, You blessed me thru the home Dad provided, the food we had to eat at every meal, the clothes we had to wear filled drawers and closets. Thank You for his caring heart and for using him to rescue my mom from a bad situation. You blessed our family thru the gifting of three more younger sisters. Playmates and memories galore. How thankful I am he took me to church and grateful he read children’s Bible devotions to us. I appreciate the after dinner time spent tutoring me in the ways of mathematics using flashcards, for his help constructing science projects, and availability to critique the rehearsal of various demonstrations. Thank You, LORD, for 4-H involvement, memories of playing hide and seek, going on family picnics and trips; for the joy of music as I practiced the piano, for him teaching me how to drive, and just for kicks teaching me how to catch crayfish. I learned a lot from him I’ll never be able to measure.
Ned Conklin loved this little girl so much that he was willing to adopt me. He bestowed the gift of his last name and treated me as if I was his own daughter. There was a whole lot that was good going on, but the bad that was happening eclipsed and swallowed it up.
It’s sad when a season of lost years comes along but it’s comforting to realize now that You were there with both of us the whole time. I aim to do what he instructed at the last…simply love others and trust You. Yes, that is the best advice.
I hope this will encourage other parents with prodigals, no matter what the reason. We love our kids the best we are able to at the time but we are prone to make mistakes and mistakes often have fallout. At the beginning and end of it all the most important thing is sharing Jesus because thru Him, no matter what else occurred, anything is possible….including healing and transformation.
“Even though I walk through the [sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and your staff [to guide], they comfort and console me.” Psalms 23:4 AMP
Dad’s battle with Parkinson’s lasted for thirty years. His first breath in Heaven came right on the heels of his last breath down here. I was blessed to hear the Lion of Judah roar over Dad’s wheel chair. No longer confined by an immobilized body and a garbled whisper my dad leapt like a stag thru Heaven’s Doorway with the shout of a victor! I can just hear his tenor voice now singing out load and praising Jesus!
“People with weak legs will jump like deer. People who cannot speak now will shout with joy!” Isaiah 35:6a EASY
The issues of the past, with their deficits and difficulties became something GOD chose use, deliver me from and redeem. He collected the tears and told me they were precious and didn’t hesitate to draw near in the moments and times of heartbreak.
I think the worst mind trap was the one that insisted I had to understand to move forward. I’ve since realized that’s a total lie. To move forward into GOD’s best, I had to let go of it all and let Jesus take my hand.
“Water will pour from springs in the desert. Streams of water will run in the wilderness. The hot earth will become a pool of water. The dry ground will have springs of water. In the places where jackals made their homes, there will now be grasses and reeds.” Isaiah 35:6b-7 EASY
He’s the only One who fully fathoms each one’s part…and He’s intimately aware of the history that shaped what lies in each of our hearts.
“GOD, our GOD, will take care of the hidden things but the revealed things are our business. It’s up to us and our children to attend to all the terms in this Revelation.” Deuteronomy 29:29 MSG
Following thru with what GOD says straightens out all the crooked stuff bonking about in my head and has the power to usher in healing and balance in the aftermath of the things that were traumatic.
“…for You, Who try the hearts and emotions and thinking powers, are a righteous GOD.” Psalm 7:9b AMPC
A lot of hard work goes into a final breath and a Sacred Moment gets shaped that gives way to what comes next …Eternity! Our sins put us on a level playing field with God. I’d much rather take the chance and cooperate, to err on the side of Love.
And that’s certainly not something undertaken apart from the grace of GOD…for where would I (or any of us be) apart from what He’s already done!?!
Thank You, Jesus…for healing and recovery, for the new things dawning inside each and every single day…and most of all for Your being so patient and kind, when I, too, made/make mistakes. How precious the time I got to spend with Dad! How generous the gifts of forgiveness and reconciliation! I know that You’re moving in the midst of other families out there. Encourage their hearts as You continue interceding on their behalf. Strengthen their resolve to not give up and fill them with wonder as they grow to understand and embrace Your example. Grant them wisdom, LORD, and guide their steps. Protect and shield them from wolf packs. Send angels to aid and minister. Heal them, JESUS, and bring them back together. For it’s in Your name we pray….amen.